Retired to bed at 9:30 after a couple of hours of uncomfortable everything.
Got up again at 11pm to search for some elusive soluble paracetamol, and finally crawled back upstairs at 4:30am. Found C1 and C2 in my bed, so after some thankful thoughts of love for my treasures, and some sneaky manoevering of pillows, cats and a spot of duvet-tugging, managed to get comfy enough to fall asleep.
Mr Meat over the road woke me at his usual time of 6:45am as he dragged the metal gates across the opening of his carpark.
Ready for deliveries of meaty products, and the incessant to-ing and fro-ing of customers as they stock up on all things non-vegetarian and all-day-take-away-full-English-breakfasts.
Fownz, her man and her children arrive armed with sausages, bacon, and bread rolls in exchange for a pot of tea. Lots of Minecraft, laughing and rendering of Meatloaf songs after their trip to see the big man last night.
Had a letter from the Social Housing people this morning - apparently, my online application did not process properly, so now I have to do it all again in black ink on paper, and send it back.
I am wondering when I will ever be able to let my guard down again.
It is draining having to be on red alert all the time, anticipating health/financial/housing/relationship issues. It's the anticipation that takes it's toll.
I am often proved wrong, which is fantastic, but my 'glass half empty' approach is often a personally successful way of avoiding disappointment!
There comes a time when with all the shouting, name-calling and general dissatisfaction with the life you are living at the present time, all seems so full of wrongness, hate and sadness. C1 is there right now, and it seems that any attempts I make to help her are not acceptable. One day, she will be able to understand.
Until then.......
Here we go again.... 9:30pm, 2 tablespoons hummus, can't stop burping and dry-heaving. This is getting ridiculous. Have managed 1 mashed banana (2 sittings), a mug of Bovril, the hummus, and a glass of water sipped slowly. Lack of sleep doesn't help matters.
Locked up house, C1 and C2 watching a film, cats fed, and I am going to bed.
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