So it's downstairs, retrieve empty glasses, bowls and rubbish left behind last night by C1 and C2, assemble a line of washing up to do, put 5 eggs into a pan to hard-boil ready for lunch with the lovely B and her children (Soup for me of course), and locate dirty school uniform to feed to the laundry monster.
Had a little cry this morning. I feel full of regrets again that I couldn't deal with this in a less drastic way. Not helped by feeling wobbly and queasy again.
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| The less drastic option - tried for 20 years...... |
C1 has a vicious tongue in her head at times. My tears came before her apology for stating how boring I am, how boring it is that we have no money, how all her friends have 'normal' families and that we never do anything fun or go out. Her second prong of attack goes along the lines of 'if you were still with Daddy it would all be alright.' I feel the need to bite back, but resist. Even Daddy would probably agree that the times we had running up to the end of the chapter - 2 and a half years ago - are not something either of us would like to repeat.
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| Sad time, but moving forwards is good... |
The new turn that Daddy and I are tentatively creeping along feels good and right. Amicability and sensitivity. 2 different home bases. I cannot expect C1 and C2 to understand such a finely balanced (and easily unbalanced!) arrangement.
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| Guess who is the biggest pebble? :) |
The stitch-sites are a bit sore again this morning. I have no appetite, so have insisted to myself that I have a little bowl of runny yogurt and a cup of sweet tea. Ah that's a bit better. Day 6 For-Real is going to be a day of sticking to rules, looking forward, and hopefully finding a way to pop over to see my Mummy on her birthday. We have made her a present, which, as it is a home-made one, she is bound to appreciate. I would like to see her open it.
C1 has disappeared upstairs, full of the pangs of pre-teen angst having made me shed a few tears. The huggy apology was enough to start me off again.
C2 has just appeared in clean pjs, indicating to me that there is further nourishment for the laundry monster this morning.
Hi ho, hi ho, where's the teapot, warm socks and my knitting?
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| My teapot was made by my lovely brother and his wife..... * |
* http://www.jamesandtillawaters.co.uk/
Dont worry about about the nasty comments from children.Mine say nasty things, then they realise they much prefer time now with Adrian then the time with plum.The big pebble is the rock keeping everyone together. You are on a brave journey Sue, and I hope you come out the other end happier and where you want to be.xxxxxx
ReplyDeleteThank you Julie. I am already happier, and each day along this long and winding road makes me a little happier. Just need to be patient, grow a thicker skin, and carry on loving my kids! :)
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