Day 21: Sunday 31st March

Woooooo-hooooooo!!!! Day 21!!!!! 

3 weeks into the recovery programme.

3 weeks left until I can reclaim the steering wheel of my trusty old Skoda.

3 weeks left to build up the stamina ready for my venture into the world of bike-riding-practice and walking to beautiful off-road places.

Necessary assistance needed...

Yes please...

3 weeks, or about that, or whatever my body decides to do. 

Who knows?

My body is not aware of the calendar and my special marks on it, indicating a precise date when all will be back to 'normal'. 

1st May 2013 - I wonder...

This is so frustrating, but I am learning the hard way.
When I try to push the boundaries, it hurts, or I am sick, or I am flat out with aching tummy, or Mr Dry-Heaving pays me a visit. 

Boundaries are there to keep a person safe. 
Young or old. 
Beautiful or ugly. 
Boundaries are there for a purpose. 

Can't be helped.
I am not jumping through any boundaries/hoops/rings of fire for anybody.

Sorry to all those lovely people who are waiting patiently (or not) for me to recover so that I can resume business as usual. 

It is not as simple as I initially thought. 

Ah well - Sunday lunch is in the oven - roast chicken with bacon and stuffing, roast potatoes, Yorkshire pudding, carrots, cabbage and gravy. Rice pudding for afters. For 'them'!!!!

I will be having mushy leftover lamb dinner. Nice. 

If the sun is still shining, there is a possibility of fresh air in the Lickeys. Good.

Snow thick and freezing cold on the Lickeys at Beacon Hill. Snowballs, tree-climbing, and some whining, but had a great time till my legs gave out. Thank you Mr 1957 for taking us. 

As a finale to today, I forgot what I was doing, and tried to bite a roast potato. Pain, sickness and overwhelming nausea. Thank God it came straight back up.

Sorry, body. Must try harder. And concentrate.

Day 20: Saturday 20th March

It is Easter Saturday, and it is totally, utterly freezing. 
I cannot stop shivering - this is quite a new phenomenon for me, as I normally (pre-operation) don't feel the cold. Now, however, I am joining the 'extra jumper, thick socks, and possibly even a thermal vest' brigade. This is for indoor wear. The heating is on, the fire is working, but I am still freezing. This must be how people with lower BMIs feel all the time. Or not. Maybe I am simply being a wimp.

Shivering like a skinned whippet.......
a lovely analogy....... not.

The trampoline in the garden is an absolute hit with C1. Morning, noon and night - she is out there bouncing to her little heart's delight.  Happy doesn't even meet her half way.

C1: looks like this is her new activity of choice. 

C2: his pyjamas do not impede any kind of
jumping activity either!

The idea of having a giant bouncy thing in the garden is proving such a stroke of brilliance. Bring on the sunny warm. 

C1 and C2 have even been captured
HOLDING HANDS AND LAUGHING!!!!

On the home front, there has been an event. 

Baby-Daddy has come over here on a bus, and collected C1 and C2 for an afternoon out, to 'take them off my hands for a short while'. 

I am delighted about this. 

The journey from A to B is rife with danger...

Firstly, because both children are truly fed up with my lack of enthusiasm for running around, and secondly, because it proves that B-D can use the bus service, and it brings forth the idea that our discussions about him collecting them on a Friday from here, and me picking them up from his yard on a Sunday afternoon, are another step closer to fruition. 

C1 has been baking again, and this time, her first venture into the realms of fatless sponge resulted in a marvellous 'proper Swiss Roll'.

Fatless sponge. All good. With jam on it.

Unfortunately, it succumbed to lashings of
American Chocolate Fudge Frosting and some mini-eggs.

Ahem..... may I point out here that I have not even so much as licked the spatula!!!

Sticking to Stage 2 is becoming easier as I get used to the idea of not drinking with my meals. This means that the 2 tablespoons of pureed goo all end up where they are supposed to be, burping is reduced to a minimum, tummy pain is almost non-existent, and I can look forward to not having to lie horizontal while the 'feeling sick with nothing to show for it' phase passes. 

I do not miss this phase at all.

A visit from Mummy and Daddy was an impromptu and welcome surprise this afternoon. 
It got me off the sofa, where I was enjoying a mild snooze, with intermittent freeze-frames of Mr Denzel Washington in the shower during The Manchurian Candidate.

Sorry - no shower scene here - I am not that generous!

I enjoyed seeing them, although poor old Daddy wasn't able to get out of the car, so we chatted through the car window. He was overcome with emotion to see the incredible shrinking me, and as I stood back from the car, he was very complimentary, although he was also crying. This is a very hard time for him and Mummy. Islets of calm and clarity are to be treasured. 

They went home after about 20 minutes, and I am just finishing off here, in preparation for a cup of tea and a bit more Denzel. 

C1 and C2 will be home by 6, I hope. We have a date with DIY pizzas and some decent celluloid input before a reasonable bed time. I have in place an embargo on any bed-time shenanigans this evening. No bed, no Easter Bunny! Never fails.

Ha Ha!!!!!!

Day 19: Friday 29th March

Today is the first day of the school Easter holidays, and is, in fact, Good Friday. 

I have Hot Cross Buns at the ready in the freezer for C1 and C2. 

Not for me.......

I have Weetabix for me. 

The joy of sampling real food again (although it is in TINY amounts) feels fantastic.

I had a couple of spoonfuls of hummus and cottage cheese yesterday - all good until I forgot to not drink at mealtimes. The ouch factor reminded me good and proper - DO NOT DRINK AT MEALTIMES!!!!  

Step away from the meaningless filling-up on cups of tea and water. 
Must remember to keep sipping fluids, but keep it away from meal and snack times. 

Concentrate on the 2-3 tablespoons of blended food. 

My Stage 2 meal plan goes something like this:
I will be following this plan for the next 2-3 weeks...

Breakfast: 
Up to 1 Weetabix with lots of milk OR
1-3 tablespoons Readybrek / Porridge OR
3 tablespoons Mum's yogurt with blended fruit OR
Thick fruit smoothie (200ml with 2 portions fruit)

Mid-Morning Snack:
Yogurt OR 2 tablespoons blended fruit

Midday:
Blended meal including blended vegetables 
(3 tablespoons maximum per meal)

Mid-Afternoon Snack:
Yogurt OR 2 tablespoons blended fruit

Evening Meal:
Blended meal with blended vegetables 
(3 tablespoons maximum)

Try to include meat, Quorn, tofu, smooth fish, hummus, cottage cheese, blended tinned tomatoes, thick soups, lentils and chick peas.

There is an alternative option of up to 1/4 - 1/2 a 'one person' ready meal, blended. The thought of this is abhorrent. I will NOT be doing this.

Doesn't look toooooo bad......

until you do this..............

Day 18: Thursday 28th March

Bit late today.... it has been a very busy one. And I had a bit of a sleepless night. Must discuss these nights with a friendly GP soon as. The dark mood is still over my head, and may need addressing.

Last day of school for C1 and C2 - neither really wanted to go, but with the prospect of 2 weeks off from tomorrow, both ended up willingly going.

Mr 1957 has been an absolute star banana. Trampoline dismantled, packed into car, brought back, put back together, and he was still smiling!!! 

I was very little help at all, apart from discovering that clips done up on nets too soon make it a royal pain to do a job properly. 

Had to stand in cat-poo city as a penance for jumping the gun.

Note to self: get lion dung for the garden - there is far too much cat poo here. 

2nd note to self: do not attempt to flick cat poo with garden edging tool.

3rd note to self: when cat poo is flicked, ensure that it is still in a state of deep freeze, otherwise the splatting effect on the fence is most disconcerting.

Tummy stitches yelped a bit after carrying a couple of little bags of netting-fixers. 

C1 and C2 took around 20 seconds to get from the front of the house to the back, and start the bounce-fest! I predict that this bounce-fest will continue for about 10 years. Job done. The trampoline fills a tidy proportion of our little back garden, but I can plant my veggies and flowers round the edges.....  Happy!

YEEEEE - HAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!

Thumbs up, may the bounce-fest commence!

Nice quiet day at home tomorrow, I think. 2 crochet projects need finishing off urgently. 
That will do, for me. 

Good night, lovely people. xx

Day 17: Wednesday 27th March

Morning has broken...... and so has my alarm clock.

Bit of a rush this morning - so it was a banana-yogurt smoothie for breakfast for all 3 of us. 

Mind you, C1 had already tackled 2 fried eggs before I appeared in the kitchen, so when the apocalypse comes, she will obviously be a capable survivor!

C2 went off to school in the much-hated waterproof trousers, aiming to find the biggest Easter egg in the school Easter Egg hunt - he was muttering about the teachers finding the best ones as they already knew where they were - he will go far!

C1 is having a quick 'Moonlight Sonata' fix on the piano before she walks to school.

I have asked (in a roundabout way) Mrs Fisherman to help me out in exchange for a nice cup of coffee - I feel really wobbly this morning, and the prospect of a 1/2 mile walk to the dentist, then a 1/2 mile walk back, wasn't making me feel too good. She has stepped in to give me a lift there and back, after her epic school run this morning.

Open wide........

That means that I will have enough energy left today to empty the bins and even attempt to vacuum up all the dried mud that C2 has trodden all over every floor in the downstairs homestead area while fighting with the evil waterproof trousers and too-small wellies. 

Let it dry - it will brush up!

The business of asking C1 and C2 for domestic help is becoming a real trial. Their new response is 'well, send us to live somewhere else then' - not particularly helpful, and makes me want to cry.  Neither of them can understand how truly knackered I feel, even after the simple jobs of cooking their tea and washing up. I will be searching the internet for suitable responses to my next bid for assistance. Maybe an embargo on all electrical luxuries in the home until help is provided? 

Anyway - dear reader - as you can probably tell, my mood is as jolly as the arse of an old donkey this morning. 

Front end.....

On the plus side, yesterday's soup, weetabix, yogurt and sloppy scrambled egg has stayed put. Just need to up the water intake again, as it doesn't seem to want to continue it's magical journey.....  eeek!

'my wait is over'............???????

Dentist update: my teeth will do for another 6 months, and have not been affected in the slightest by my 6 weeks of fluids only. In fact, apparently, my mummy's natural live yogurt has done my teeth good! I have to return to have an extremely old filling removed and re-done, and the usual scrape and polish torture, but all is well. Good.

Mrs Fisherman came back in for another coffee, then briskly whizzed round the front room with a duster, polish, vacuum cleaner and a small amount of swearing, and a promise of a 'discussion' with C1 and C2 about the merits of helping out at home, willingly, without nagging, and with the possible benefits of a happier me, a little pocket money, and the knowledge that they are contributing to the running of a happy home. I predict a riot.

Day 16: Tuesday 26th March

Weetabix - I love you!!!!!!!!   Sloppy with loads of fortified milk. *  

Stroppy first-born - check.
Soggy second-born - check.
Washing up done - nope.
Bed stripped - nope.
Mood down in the doldrums - check.

C1 and C2 gone off to school. 
Apparently, according to C1,  I am 'an idiot, don't care for them, only think about myself, and don't deserve them'. 
Hmmm - thinks - where have I heard all that before? 

Maybe it is my low mood, or maybe it's them being tired and needing to break up for Easter.

Mr 1957 is still OK to help with the big trampoline moving project on Thursday. He has been poorly, and gave me a spot of worry which I didn't expect. He was back to his normal self last night though, including confessions of a Pancake nature, so here's hoping.

Have received a sad text from Mr Landlord, letting me know that since I last heard from him in September, his wife/best friend has passed away. He had told me that this was on the cards, but it is still unbearably sad to know that is has finally happened. 

RIP Mrs Landlord

I am trying to be unselfish, but Mr Landlord has mentioned needing to talk to me once he has sorted out her estate, which, in my grim mood at the moment, makes me think immediately of eviction notices, having to move, house being sold etc etc etc. 

I have no idea if that is his intention, but we are signed up until the end of August, and he knows that in reality I see this as a long-term lease until C1 and C2 are finished with the school thing. 

We like it here. Ah well - one day at a time. 
I will stay calm, and await what I have no control over. 

I am being rescued from captivity today by my lovely 'Keeper Friend' Mrs Wobble. 

Please note: she is not going to wait on me...

We don't see enough of each-other, she is quite swear-friendly, has a wicked sense of humour, and makes fabulous cups of tea. 

What more could a convalescent crocheter want? Nothing, today. 

Home again, waiting for my babies to return to the fold. I have managed to successfully contain Weetabix, a cup of tea, a cup of peppermint tea, some yogurt, and now look forward to something mushy for my tea. 

The compost has been deposited outside the front door, which all adds up to a spot of lovely gardening this weekend with C1 and C2. A spot of sunshine would be welcome, please.

* 1 pint of semi-skimmed milk a day, with 3-4 tablespoons of dried skimmed milk powder whisked into it. 

Day 15: Monday 25th March

Today is Day 15 - and I am popping in to see the Bariatric Dietician and Nurse for a check-up, morale-boost and some further advice. Am not convinced that I am ready to move on to puree. Will see what happens. **

**
Gold star for me! Am apparently doing really well, all things considered. Have already lost 24% of my excess body weight, and reduced my BMI from 55 to 42. Am now free to move on to Weetabix, ReadyBrek, cottage cheese, houmous and other pureed slop. Wooooooooop!!!!!

Due to my car-keys also being on house-arrest, am being collected in good time for the appointment, and hope to be back home in time for the return of C1 and C2 from school.

I hope my lift-provider will come in his car!!!!!

The sun is shining. The snow has nearly all melted. 

I have had a rotten night, featuring bad dreams, stomach cramps, sore inside stitches (could be imagined, but hey, it felt real at the time) and further Olympic-standard tossing and turning.*

Can't seem to get warm today. Feel a bit mean, but won't crank up the heating about the 20 degree mark - it is against all my principles. I do, however, have 2 pairs of socks on, 3 jumpers, a knitted scarf and a hat on. 

*See Day 2 F-R.

Day 14: Sunday 24th March

The weather outside is frightful. Snow, wind, below freezing temperatures.

Charlie Snow is still alive and well and sitting on our picnic bench.

The conditions inside are windy. No more thinned-down lentil and parsnip soup for me, thank you very much. Although I am heartily sick of yogurt, it is doing me such a lot of good, that I need to continue with it. Thank you Mum.
Water is also still going down well. 

Having a shower this morning was a revelation - the last of the paper stitch-things came off, to show the extent of the damage. I am happy to say that any redness, external sore bits and tight areas all seem to be calming down. 

Not that I am up to full-on vacuuming status yet - no. Neither am I considering mopping the kitchen floor or dragging bins around. Picking up clothes off the floor is still a challenge. 

I would like to point out that this is NOT our home!
Just an indication of how it could be ...........

C1 has obliged by staying asleep way past her usual morning wake-up time. I think she has finally given in to allowing herself a bloody good catch-up. Why she won't let herself be tired beats me. She needs her sleep. Life it far too busy for her at the moment. 

C2, however, woke up at his normal time, having kicked his laptop off the top of his bed onto the floor while having some kind of ninja moment in his dreams. All is not lost. The laptop is fine. C2 is fine, installed now on the sofa, with laptop, Spiderman sleeping bag, cup of tea and a bit of cake. This is his idea of a perfect Sunday morning experience!

My dear friend The Lincoln Imp rang for a lengthy discussion on weight loss, farts, burps, wine and driving in the snow. All of these subjects are normal. This is why she is one of my very dearest friends. And the fact that she knows so much about me, that if we ever fell out, she would have to die. (Love you, TLI!!!)

Once, long ago, a mischievous Imp was blown into my life in Lincoln by a ferocious storm, coming to rest, at last,
at the grand door of the Duke William pub on The Bail.
Exhausted, and seeking shelter she entered - but on seeing the  splendour and magnificence of the furniture all around her,
her natural instinct for evil doing was awakened.
In a wine-fuelled frenzy she began to unscrew a knob from the top of a chair, dance on the table singing 'I'm Climbing Up Sunshine Mountain' at the top of her voice (breaking several windows in the process) and tripping up the captain of Lincoln Rugby Team. I immediately decided that she was going to be a friend for life.
The Guardian Angels of Lincoln Minster saw this mayhem and in an instant turned her into stone, and placed her forever out of harm's way, high above the Choir in the Cathedral, between two enormous party-sized bottles of Country Manor and a shed-load of B&H Silver, where she can still be seen to this day - grinning cheekily.
She comes out on high days and holidays, and can often be spotted hiding behind bushes waiting to leer and gurn at unsuspecting fit young men.  XX

C2 is now awake. I hear her moving about upstairs, and will now halt my writing in order to put the kettle on, and assume the position of loving Mummy, ready with hugs, a kiss, and an offer of help with the grim project on The Gambia which needs to be completed today. 

The project WILL be complete by the end of the day.

C1 is living up to this mantra. 

Please note: I have tried, Lord knows I have tried, to consume enough calories to keep body and soul together over the last 4 weeks.  But........

Fortisip is a Food for Special Medical Purposes for use under medical supervision. Fortisip is a nutritionally complete, ready to drink, nutritional supplement for the management of malnutrition. Fortisip can be used to supplement the diet of patients unable to meet their nutritional requirements from other foods, or used as a sole source of nutrition.

Every time I try to consume anything from this range of 'food' dispensed to me by the hospital to aid my recovery, I suffer with dry-heaving, queasy weirdness and have to go for a proper lie down. This will be discussed tomorrow afternoon with the lovely Emma BD and Karen BN during my post-operative appointment/check-up.


Back again on the road to health via Captain Runny Yogurt and her buddies Water and Bovril.