Day 118: Saturday 6th July

Oh! Here comes some glorious July sunshine!
Woken at 6am by the usual rattly metal gates over the road, a tooting lorry and some idiot shouting at his mate about where to find a bacon butty. 

Morning coffee

Let me say - today I don't mind!

Up, showered, washing on line, chicken cooked ready for slicing for salad later, wheelbarrow full of rancid clippings emptied into wheelie-bin outside, lawnmower warned of imminent action, C1 and C2 still asleep!

Sleeping lions!

2 hours later, C1 is now awake and watching a junior-level spooky film with a cup of tea and a pain au chocolat courtesy of Granny. 
C2 still fast asleep.

Washing dry.

Lawnmower has given up complaining about working at the weekend, and may even comply later, once the grass has dried out. Morning dew.......

Have now applied my techie hat and set up, installed, and tested (still enjoying the testing part) some marvellous speakers that were unearthed during The Great Garage Turn-Out - complete with extra bass box. They connect up nicely to the laptop, and sit superbly on the 'wool shelf' at the back of the dining room.

Music while I sort out stuff. C1 and C2 are now fully alert, breakfasted and outside, making a den ON the trampoline, involving the pop-up tent, blankets and cushions. Could be set for the day, except we have a minor excursion to pop in to see Mummy and Daddy this morning.

Glorious!

Update: Lunch at Mummy & Daddy's was lovely. C1 chopped the parsley while C2 podded the broad beans with his Grandad. 

Came home with 3 beautiful sunflower plants - they will be planted in the front garden by the fence. Joy.

One for you, one for me, and one for us.

Day 117: Friday 5th July

Oh dear.
Had a turbulent time with Mummy & Daddy today. Things are getting to the verge of unmanageability, with some major stress coming from the telephone. After installing C2 on the Walking Bus armed with an empty yogurt pot to turn into a model rickshaw, and dropping C1 at school, I managed to roll up at Tyncella at 08:50 in time to get some kind of plan in place. 

Taking over control of making phone calls made a difference. Being able to speak to social workers, GP, other duty workers and take the pressure off Mummy is something I am able to do. 

The whole system is flawed. 

We will find a solution. Hopefully by Monday.

Home to washing uniforms, a spot of GloWhite for the off-white shirts, salad for tea with strawberries and trifle, a glass of red wine for me NOW, some minor shouting (me) and pouting (C1) and soon all will be well in the world of Soooz.

Day 115: Wednesday 3rd July

First of all - wishing my lovely mate 'Old Bean' Tressle a fabulous 50th birthday. We have known each-other since we were 4 years old, through thick and thin, and still going strong.

A great day spent with B - crochet, discussion, celebrations and some beautiful tasty lettuce from her garden. 

The bubble burst on the way home from the afternoon school run, when Daisy Skoda started making the most awfully loud, scraping, squealing and generally very alarming noises. C2 had a look when I stopped, and the sounds seemed to be coming from the front near side wheel area. Oh God. Please don't let this be expensive.

                                  

Andy MotorFixer is on his way - I rang him, as he did the car's service and MOT back in May. He is such a fabulous person to know. 

He has checked all - all OK. A test drive round the block and back proves it. He has diagnosed a loose chipping from one of the many 'patch-it with spare tarmac and chippings' areas around here, which had got itself stuck between the brake pad and disk, causing such an excruciating noise. Phew! He has now gone home for his tea. No charge. Fantastic.

I am glad that I will be mobile tomorrow. Apart from the normal school run, I am on a training course all day tomorrow, aiming to become a Dementia Friends Champion. I need to do this. 

What is a Dementia Friends Champion?

A Dementia Friends Champion is a volunteer who encourages others to make a positive difference to people living with dementia in their community. They do this by giving them information about the personal impact of dementia, and what they can do to help. The training prepares Dementia Friends Champions to help people understand what it's like to live with dementia and the actions they can take in their communities.

Day 114: Tuesday 2nd July

Yesterday was interesting. 

2 extra exercises from Mr J the friendly physiotherapist. I now have a double-sided sheet of things to do to strengthen the muscles around my knees, my pelvis and my core (aka wobbly tummy).

This session was followed by a timely visit to Mummy and Daddy, which turned into a flurry of activity, giving me a feeling that it was totally right for me to be there, on that day.

Did manage a teeny little sing with Dad, and we decided that it was probably best to ignore the verses of songs and stick to the choruses - everyone knows the choruses. Spent some time looking at old photos from the 1930s, and both of us struggled to think of the name for a........

.... Mum arrived home to rescue us, and immediately told us it was a Barrage Balloon. Derrrrrrrr! How could we not know that?

The rest of the day was uneventful, which was great. C1 and C2 both agreed to have baths, which gave me the opportunity to pin C2 down and do his toe and fingernails properly. No more hooves and claws!

Today dawned with a lovely burst of birdsong, after a fabulous 8 hours sleep. It is amazing how much difference sleep makes. I cannot imagine how Mummy is getting by with a 24/7 carers role, and little proper sleep. The difference between the sleeplessness involved in baby-rearing, and the sleeplessness involved in dealing with a much-loved person suffering with dementia, immobility issues, diabetes and other problems is clear. The missing element is joy. Joy in your new baby, joy at the mere hint of recognition from the little face when you stagger around, half awake, doing all the nocturnal things that parents normally do without a second thought. There is little joy in the prospect of sleepless nights, disturbed days, with all the complications to be dealt with. I take my hat off to my mum. 

Poor old dad was talking to me yesterday about life-span, life-expectancy and the thought of 'is it over yet' - a difficult subject to talk about at the best of times. Anyone can see that at times, he has really had enough.  Then again, he enjoyed singing some songs from his past, and the twinkle in his eye was there. This beggars the thought of Dignitas, any way, any where, anyhow.

Hmmmmmmm.

Spent a lovely day with my good buddy H, and made the final decision that fine stitching is not my thing, but crochet and knitting jolly well is!

Near miss on the school run this afternoon, and I must admit I am pleased that I continue to drive with the headlights on full beam down those country roads.  It appears that in a contest between a little Skoda (me) and a massive off-road-capable monster truck, it is always me who has to shift off the road, down a ditch, or halfway across a gate entrance, to allow the (sorry Mum) arsey, dick-head, ignoramus drivers to get their vehicle through without any risk of mud, branch scratches or other evidence of proper countryside driving, while raising the finger to little old me, with my little boy next to me, driving at an oh so sensible speed along the lanes. Grrrrrrrrr! It's almost a daily event now. Roll on a change of school, please. 

ROAD HOGS!!!!!

Award ceremony date and time to be confirmed....... I know who you are!

Day 110 - 112: Weekend

The Klimt-inspired blanket is now complete. I have finished it. At last.

Used up all my odd ends and bits of wool - fabulous. 

Nothing else to add. 

Happy weekend, people.

Think of me as I learn how to do ordinary things with a slant towards dementia-training, eat tiny amounts of pub-grub, meet new people and NOT swim with dolphins. 

Day 110: Friday 28th June

24 hours later...... jars of sunshine. 

Elderflower Cordial made, bottled, ready for 

lemonade, water, vodka, gin, and ice. 

Bring on the summer now please. 

There will be some lucky recipients of some of this 

nectar. 

I did remember to sterilise the lids and the jars, so

 there is a little bit of a chance that it may keep - 

although, judging by the little glass I have next to me

 now, diluted with plain water, it won't last long

 anyway! Yummy.


Busy day of appointments, knee-raises, horse liniment

  and other not so interesting but needful activities.


Next week should be calmer, I trust.

Day 109: Thursday 27th June

Yesterday was a whirlwind of phone calls, waiting for 'the man with the logo and a van', further phone calls, finger-tapping and guitar re-stringing.

Missed a quality afternoon spent with Daddy due to the lateness of the arrival of 't-m-w-t-l-a-a-v' and waved goodbye to the pile of exam papers. Great job done.

After-school barbecue involving 3 children, 3 cats, a windy corner of the garden and some kebabs. Excellent. The trampoline and my geraniums were almost involved too, but we managed to remain calm, and all was fine.

C1 and her friend The Hatster spent a lovely hour or so bouncing around, giggling like girls (er - hang on - they ARE girls!) and making futile attempts to de-bag C2. He enjoyed every moment. Playing with the big girls is becoming a special interest for him. Oh dear......

This morning's salute to Mother Nature happened as I stopped off in a leafy lane after dropping C2 at school. The main aim was to harvest 40 heads of fluffy elderflower for my cordial project. As I stood in the quiet hedgerow (yes - I was IN the hedge) I heard a scuffle, and there, right by my feet, was a young hare. It looked me in the eye, I swear it grinned, then it skipped off through the hedge and over the field beyond. Priceless.

Home to pare lemons, boil sugar syrup, and shake off any lingering insects, before leaving the whole lot to steep for 24 hours. 

Today may turn out better than expected. Off to check up on my lovely keeper friend Mrs Wobble, for news on the latest scan, ideas on baby-makes, and some downright earthy discussion on a variety of subjects including the morning-after pill, cloth nappies, chicken poo and the best recipe in the world for lettuce soup. Who could say my life is boring?

Hoping for another great performance from C2 tonight as he takes the stage again for the school play. 

All in all, things couldn't be much better.

Could they?  ...

Day 107: Tuesday 25th June

Sunny day - hoping for bright things - a good start to the day.

C1 and C2 pancaked and ready for school. Washing up done and put away.

House vacuumed and ready for the man with the tape measure and Mr Landlord - we are really really really hoping for a result where the house doesn't need to be sold from under us, thanks to the inheritance tax, making us have to move when we are happy where we are. I know that Mr Landlord feels the same way. 

The 'royal' decree was received this morning, so a booking has been made with the 'Man with a Van, a logo and a big zapper' to come and collect all the exam papers tomorrow, freeing up the dining room for proper use again. Yay!

There is a 2nd-hand Uniform sale on at C2's school this morning, before the bell. He could do with a couple of white school shirts, as he manages to convert the 2 that he already has into grey, striped and somewhat nasty-looking around the collar within hours of wearing them! Will have a look anyway.

I pulled a couple of muscles last weekend - have narrowed it down to the point where I was messing around on a seesaw thing at the park, in the pouring rain, being scowled at by various children and parents as they sheltered under the slide. I had a great time, but the old abdomen feels a bit edgy today. Hah! 

Well, bread to make, probably some kind of rolls for picnics, teatime sandwiches and dipping in soup. Now I have a nicely defrosted freezer, the prospect of refilling it with nice home-made food is a pleasure.

Onwards...............

Day 106: Monday 24th June

School run successfully achieved without shouting, tears, stropping or any kind of refusal to get out of the car. Good. C2 in good shape for a good week. Homework done, plain coloured T-shirt and pumps available in bookbag, ready for dress-rehearsal of the Pied Piper, and refreshed after a good night's sleep.

C1 walked to school as also planned, looking beautifully groomed, enthusiastic and so so self-confident .....

Decided on a whim to turn right instead of left after the school run and popped in to see Mummy and Daddy to explain more clearly about the house situation. All good there too, although I felt I wanted to stay longer. 

Back home to hang out washing, complete ebay purchase of citric acid, guitar strap and capo, oodles of washing up, vacuuming, baking banana bread, and phoning lots of people about various appointments necessary to the well-being of the people around me. 

Had to cancel a day out with Mrs DW, and another day tomorrow with Lovely Lyn, but the time will come when relaxing quality time with friends is easier to achieve. When I have ticked off everything on my to-do list and turned it into my ta-daa list!!! 

The elderflowers are not quite ready to collect for the cordial mission, so hopefully by Thursday I will be ready. 

May even find time to do a bit of crochet - the Klimt-inspired blanket needs joining up.

And Furbaby2 needs a new place to sleep!!!!!

Sunshine just appeared in the garden, so I must get on with the list...... I feel a ta-daaa moment coming along soon.....

Happy.

Day 105: Sunday 23rd June

Rain, rain, go away.......

Spent all day yesterday with Mr 1957 sorting out and tidying the garage. No visit from Mr Landlord yet, so the coast was clear to put most of the contents out front to make space to sort! 

Had 2 separate visits from The Trumpet Man asking whether any of the stuff out front was scrap. I nearly told him that it might look like scrap, but it was actually the sum total of a life's work. Hah!

Sunday brings rain, rain and more rain. C1 spent 2 nights at her friend's house, so needed to be extracted from said friend's house this morning. 

Sunday lunch was delayed by the eventual visit from Mr Landlord, and after an hour of talk, mainly about the loss of his wife, he left, with plans to return on Tuesday with an estate agent for measuring up and an evaluation of the house. Bugger! Not sure whether there will be an actual sale, but there is still a cloud of possibly re-housing over our heads.

Or not?????

Madagascar 3 on the telly to cheer us up as we eat our supper of 'fridge-raid-salad' and crispbreads. C1 made a jug of lemonade as a nose-thumb to the fact that although it is now past 'mid-summer's day', we have the heating on, and are cold.

To bed for sleep, and another week of school, unknown/unprecedented crises, scrimping and house fretting lies ahead. 

Joy to the world. 

Never give up, never surrender...

Day 103: Friday 21st June

Greetings, lovely readers. 

The time felt right to start again...


OMG!!! Just hit the 7 stone off marker. 

7 stone off since February. 


I have celebrated with myself, and treated myself to a

little piece of hand-crafted loveliness. I see this as a

symbol of the new life I now have, 'not-so-big' Mama

and her 2 beautiful babies. And before anyone

mentions it, it was under a fiver, and I think I'm worth

it! 

Cannot believe that this is finally happening, after the 

30 years battle with my weight. 

Very drastic way to do it, and if only I had had more 

willpower, but hey - it's going to be a lifetime journey, 

and who knows what is round the corner. 


I have to say, although I may appear to have cheated 

to some, this has been bloody hard, and I still have a 

long way to go.

The mind set is SO different now though. 

Like something has been switched off (or on, 

depending on how you look at it!)

Day 85: Monday 3rd June

Please note: I will not be posting any further blogs here for a while. Life is a little complicated, and I need some head-space and some time out. 
All is well. Absolutely fine. So please, no worrying!

If you need to make contact with me my email 

address is soooziq@gmail.com. 

Day 84: Sunday 2nd June

Another day missed - this must not become a habit.

It was missed due to a busy and happy day out to a steam-oriented country park near here. With bikes, a picnic, good company and some rather lovely encouraging words, we rode our bikes alongside the steam railway, waved at trains, had our picnic and then rode back.

Our arrival back was greeted with ice-creams and a rather good play area, allowing grown-ups to gather their thoughts, drink tea from a flask, and discuss everything from the weather to reasons why we would rather take holidays in this country than abroad. The realisation that two people are very similar, when being honest, is quite pleasing.

Back home to some naff BBQ-building, a bag of chips with a thick white sliced and ketchup, tea, and some bed-time shenanigans (again) before gaining control of the TV remote and the sofa. 

Note to self: when faced with a tea that is known to set off a painful reaction in the tummy area, pass it by, and have a crispbread!!!!! Half an hour horizontal with butty-induced abdominal pain isn't attractive to anyone!

Sunday dawned  with beautiful sun and a friendly text message. After an in-depth discussion with C1 and C2 about almost everything, from untidy bedrooms, through treating people with disrespect and rudeness, passing speedily through the realms of 'mummy loves you both very much, but your behaviour is really getting to me' and finally an agreement that laptop time needed to be earned, and the deal of the day was struck.

Breakfast, then all upstairs to muck out bedrooms, vacuum floors, tidy up and congratulate ourselves on our fabulous team work. Bedrooms restored to  normality, Scissor Sisters as a backing track, and all ended up tranquil. For now.

1 hour of laptop time gained me 1 hour of marking time, and after ironing, further use of the washing machine (day of rest? NOT!) and some creative use of 1 teeny frozen pie, half a bag of roast potatoes and some frozen peas, all was still peaceful.  

I have, in my nearly empty freezer, a new addition - a full size Gressingham duck courtesy of Mummy. This will be cooked at some point when I know that it will be enjoyed fully, with all the trimmings. It can sit in the freezer kicking it's webbed little feet, until I am ready. 

Feeling somewhat all over the place today. Am now looking at life from the perspective of being a divorcee, working on moving forward in many aspects of my life, trying to disconnect from negative input from external forces, leaving behind unhappy memories and replacing them with much happier experiences. 

I am up to the challenge of this. Tomorrow, after C1 and C2 have returned to school for the last half term of this academic year, I will be marking furiously, probably moving onto the 3rd red pen of this marking season, assessing the status of the bank balance, and waiting for Parcelforce!