Day 43: Monday 22nd April

Monday dawns, another week beginning. First night back home, and C1 has another reason to creep into my bed. I can't sleep properly when a sweaty starfish is under my duvet. She wrote me a note explaining her presence....

She was actually snoring when I came to bed, so I left her as she was, and claimed the other side of the bed from Furbaby 1. My revenge was served cold, as I let the morning alarm ring near her head for a good 3 minutes. Ha ha indeed.

Yes - it goes off at 6:55am...

A normal Monday morning of mushrooms on toast, Special K, cups of tea and fresh water in water bottles. C1 and C2 are ready in record time, clean, tidy and full of the joys of school. NOT!

Anyway, my school run includes Mrs Fisherman's youngest for a last few days until she leaves for pastures new (different school on the other side of town), so off we go. 

After the drop-off, I head home just in time to meet up with Franny-Pan for a first try-on of the crochet leg-hider underskirt extension that I have made for her. She has great legs, but doesn't want to show too much of them at a wedding she is attending, so asked me whether I could manufacture this 'extension' to preserve her dignity and maintain the mystery a little! After putting on the full ensemble (dress, killer heels, bag and fascinator) we both decided that another 3 inches would be an advantage. This will be done, with some nifty scallopped edging thrown in for good measure!

Peeping out from under.

Close-up.

Completed article...

 Franny-Pan went off to work, and I set off to meet the  Phlebotomist for another armful of blood to be extracted. 9 vials later, with instruction to come back in a week for the results, and I am free to return home to my 'to-do' list.

This does include mowing the lawn. Ssshhhhh.

A gentle potter was intended, but these things have a habit of getting out of hand, especially when it involves me. The lawn was mown, then somehow, a picnic bench moved from one side of the lawn to the paved area, 5 bags of compost moved from the front of the house to the back, 2 crowns of rhubarb were potted, a root of mint was eased into another pot, some general tidying and bagging up of tip-worthy rubbish happened, and I suddenly felt really tired and in need of some soluble drug-based comfort.

Then, off to school to collect. 

Calm restores once both C1 and C2 remove their school shoes, kick back (not kick each-other) and relax.

Watching some extreme trampolining, some planting of seeds and cooking of tea, and I am completely and utterly tired with a capital K!

I escape upstairs with the announcement that I will re-appear to run a bath for C2. C1 is given the instructions to bring upstairs the bedtime milky drink at my call, and all goes reasonably smoothly.

At last, I am able to gather enough thoughts and energy to complete downstairs tasks, sort out tomorrow's diary, have a cup of peppermint tea, and flake out. Further installments of painkillers necessary, due to me being a foolish woman who will not be told, who is too independent for her own good, impatient, frustrated and downright fed up with all of this.

Hoping for a night on my own.

Day 42: Sunday 21st April

So - today is London Marathon Day.

Good luck to all the runners. And a pause for remembrance of the tragic end to the Boston Marathon last week.


Yesterday was 'worry about BFF Jill's son who is working in Szechuan, and a stone's throw away from the earthquake that happened on Friday day'. After some urgent texting and FB messaging, it was clear that he and his partner were OK. Worst nightmare dissipated for another day. BFFJ has had several of these moments, with a son who loves to be in the thick of some really tricky parts of the world, and a lust for dangerous activities!

My body feels like it has done it's own personal marathon this morning, after the trip into Birmingham yesterday. Forgot to take painkillers, which wasn't a problem at first.....

We parked a little way down the road, with a small walk to the theatre. Paused to allow BFF Sally to nip into Tesco to buy a bottle of pop for the performance. I was prepared with C1's school water bottle (note to self - wash it twice next time - water tasted old and nasty!) - Mr 1957's instructions to 'take your water with you' were heeded, even though it took the poor man 5 text messages from the coast to get the brain to remember!

The Phantom of the Opera was outstanding. Such fabulous music - as I said to BFFS - I have accompanied many soloists on stage 'doing' the songs, over many years, but it was amazing to hear it all in one show! Why I haven't seen it before, God knows. Hairs on the back of my neck stood on end. Good job.

Now, we sat in our seats during the interlude. 
At the end of the performance, I realised that my knee had locked, and walking was going to be a painful return to the world outside Lloyd-Webber! 

Luckily I had my little telescopic walking stick (purple flowers - much nicer than grey NHS elbow crutches). I followed BFFS to the fresh air. We both gulped in fresh air, not realising how hot and stuffy it had been in the Stalls. It was still gloriously sunny, so we decided to have a little walk into the Bullring for a novelty mooch.

Pause, while self starts to realised the true meaning of 'don't run before you can walk' and my staggering in the wake of BFFS becomes slower and more painful. Putting on a brave face, I go into TKM while BFFS nips up to swap her Swatch. I was looking for bargain walking poles. I am intercepted at the homewares section by BFFS, who suggests that we have a little look around, then hightail it across the road to the famous chemists to purchase strong painkillers and a bottle of water to dissolve them in. Good plan.

While BFFS took the nasty water and tipped it down the drain outside, I remained in the queue to buy new water and a pack of mega-drugs. Under the watchful (and slightly bemused) eye of the handsome security guard, BFFS sorted me out, swapped water from one bottle to another, administered the drugs, while I sat meekly on the chair intended for 'confidential advice' in the main aisle next to the incontinence aids. Ironic!

Further wanderings around the chemist allowed me to buy a mascara. Not an earth-shattering purchase, but I am starting to feel the need to take more care of my appearance, and C1 seems to have taken ownership of my old one. 

The drugs were slow to act, so after a little further wanderings, it was decided that we should make our way back to the car. 

Slowly.

Thankfully, we got there in the end. A short while later, back at the homestead, the kettle was on, bra off (habit I have as soon as the coast is clear and I know that I don't have to go out again!), chicken jalfrezi soup warming up, and BFFS nipped 2 doors up to buy herself some fish and chips. They don't get F&C in her neck of the woods. I buttered a slice of thick white for her, to maximise the experience (butty-time), and we settled down to recharge. 

Unfortunately, once we had eaten, the yawning commenced. BFFS had to lie prone on the sofa due to the intake of a whale-sized piece of fish. This position is not a good one when one is trying to stay awake.

9:30pm and we called it a night. Hugs and thank-yous, and off she went back to her Pile where the two men in her life were hopefully fed, and had managed to perform laundry duties in her absence. 

Bed for me. Another lovely undisturbed sleep. 

And yes, The Phantom of the Opera was still there, inside my mind! 

Thank you, Sal. A wonderful birthday treat. xx

Today is now to be spent on gentle chores, before popping to visit my parents, and collecting C1 and C2 from their weekend with BabyDaddy.

Day 41: Saturday 20th April

The hot bath and clean pjs idea worked a treat. Silent house, no bed-time shenanigans, and 12 hours beautiful sleep for me. Thank you, Mr Sandman.

Woken by the telephone - too much sleep is bad for you, apparently (!).

It's amazing how a single sentence can suck all the happy out. Although I am extremely careful with the family budget, I make allowances for birthdays and other special days. The mention of debts you can't get out of and bailiffs coming round isn't something to boost the mood - just when I thought I had put Thursday behind me. 
Well-meant, and spoken with unconditional love,  but kind of hoovered it all out of me in one little gang of words.

I will not let it spoil the day. 

Hair colour to hide the grey?   Check.
Soya milk and weetabix breakfast?  Check.

Washing I did last night pegged out? Check.

Chicken Jalfrezi Soup for lunch? Check.

Waiting for BFF Sally to come and get me! Got a top on that I haven't worn for 5 years. No make-up as it appears to have been removed from my bedroom into someone else's care. At least she hasn't borrowed my hair brush!

She's here! Off we go!!!!!

Day 40: Friday 19th April

A beautiful sunny day...  

School run marred by traffic lights, idiots, and sunshine on a dirty windscreen.

On a positive note, C2 and I had "the best chat ever" all the way to school.

Home, and just in time to mop the mouse entrails off the kitchen floor (Again! Why? I feed them twice a day!), empty the recycle bin, mop the bathroom floor, and plan where to put all of C1's excess 'stuff' that makes her bedroom look untidy (yes - my idea is probably the same as yours!).

Lovely Mrs Hill arrives for a cuppa and a natter, and presents me with a fab little book of knitting patterns, including a snake draught-excluder and a string of fish. Both will be knitted up at some point soon, once I have completed all the other Works In Progress that litter my crochet corner in the living room.

Scooted down the road to see the dentist for a replacement filling. No problems here. I lay back, goggled up and listened to Radio 2 while he did his stuff. Dentistry isn't what it used to be (thank God!).

Still feeling somewhat abashed by the telling off (albeit very nicely done) I got from Mr P the consultant yesterday afternoon. 

I MUST not try to run before I can walk. MUST NOT!!!

He tapped and pressed as I coughed, in all the keyhole sites and elsewhere on my shrinking abdomen. He was very pleased with how it all looks. 
However, I am to continue with the dairy-avoidance project, and stick to the puree and a little mashed 'soggy-stuff' for a little longer. Unless I want to complete the aversion therapy route and push the boundaries, having lots of painful lying down sessions, gripes, acid reflux, 'dumping syndrome' and general feelings of very very unwellness. 

I am frustrated by this, but realise that it is a long journey that I embarked upon, and at 7 weeks down the line, it is still very early days. I am to continue to speak to and pay visits to Emma BD and Karen BN every couple of weeks/months, and a diary date will be made in 6 months time for me to meet up again with Mr P to see how the whole thing is going. I am not to be let loose in normal circles for a while yet. Unless I need to see him sooner, in which case he will be available.

I am delighted that there do not appear to be any holes in my intestines, broken staples, extra hernias, tight orifices (sorry!) or any other complications that I have been having nightmares about. Maybe a better night's sleep is due this evening.

Mr P did say, however, that he was concerned about my going 'cold turkey' off my anti-depressants, and stated that he would be happier (and so probably would I) if, when I see my GP on Monday, we have a little chat about the possibility of going back on them for a while. 

Babydaddy rang me this afternoon as I sat in the car, sunshine pouring through the open window, Guilty Pleasure CD (aka 'you're not listening to THAT are you???') playing through the speakers, in C2's school carpark, knitting a 3rd rabbit.  He wanted to know whether, after yesterday's court developments, we are actually divorced now. Personally, I don't know. I think we are pretty much there. Just a 6 week and 1 day wait for the Decree Absolute (No, nothing to do with Vodka Absolut!) and then the marriage will be no more. 

I contemplated mowing the lawn. 
Then I went and put the kettle on, chatted with C1 and C2 about their days, praised them on their fantastic achievements this week, and encouraged them to ditch the school uniform so that I can pass it to the laundry fairy in preparation for their return to school on Monday.

The lawn remains uncut. 

There will be no washing done tomorrow, as I am going out!  My long-suffering BFF Sal bought me a ticket to see Phantom of the Opera at Birmingham Hippodrome tomorrow (matinee of course!) and we are going to sit back and relax. I can't wait. 

A lovely hot bath, clean pjs and no children to put to bed is on the cards. 

They are with Babydaddy for the weekend.

My phone will be switched off.

I will sleep until I am ready to get up, then, after a shower and thorough hair wash, will choose from my limited 'shrunken Sue' wardrobe, dress, and prepare for BFF Sal to arrive. 

Happy.

Day 39: Thursday 18th April

Happy Birthday C2!!!!!

8 years ago today...... how did that go so quickly?

Today started with a pile of cat sick strategically placed exactly where I put my foot out of bed! I sense some kind of feline protest going on, against the perils of cheap cat food, the dangers of eating wild mice, and just for the sheer hell of it. None of them have owned up, although one of them is looking a bit shifty.

It was him - he is downstairs chewing the sofa......
we have just woken up.

First mission completed... trip to sit in a room with a 2-way mirror, while C1 and C2 mess with stuffed toys, draw personal time-lines and I feel inadequate and totally in love and proud of my babies.  

Second mission... school shoes acquired for C1, who has now announced that she would like a school skirt for the summer term, and a polo shirt. This is the child who has not worn anything remotely like a skirt or a dress for the last 4 years! On examining styles in the shop, none came up to her stringent standards of coolness. I have done a very 'mumsy' thing, and walked away from the lycra pelmet thing she has set her sights on.

Third mission... visit to Mr P the Bariatric Consultant. No time between Missions 1, 2 and 3, so C1 and C2 have to accompany me to our county town for a boring sit in the waiting room while I get sorted. Before anyone calls The Wag Man, this is my only option, as the logistics of the day mean that I cannot get them to school and on to my appt in time, and there is nobody to collect from school and so on........

Fourth mission... after hospital trip, the birthday boy will be visiting the cinema on the way home for a film treat with me and his sister. I have tea in my bag, to be surreptitiously distributed once the lights go out!  
Tickets pre-booked, so we can bypass the snack trolleys, popcorn and icecream and head to the cheap seats!

                   


Of course, another event has been and gone while I have been so focussed on C1 and C2. 

Not the last day of our acquaintance, but the judge in court, at 10am this morning, will have pronounced our 'decree nisi', marking the beginning of the end of a marriage. Sadness, some disbelief, denial and downright needing a bloody good cry, but as I say, life has to move forward, or we may as well not bother.

I have no more to say today.

There may be an update after seeing Mr P this afternoon.

Day 38: Wednesday 17th April

It's a new dawn, It's a new day, 
It's a new life for me, 
And I'm feeling good.........  la la la........

Drove to school again this morning - less sore than yesterday, but prepared for it with painkillers in advance! Clever me! 

I am wary of being seen by others as 'recovered' now, and able to pick up ALL the reins that I had in my sweaty grip a couple of months ago. I know this is frustrating - for me, and for everyone else, but I am still sore and achey, knackered all the time, emotional and a tad wobbly. 

I think I need a sticker!

Mr ASDA just brought my shopping into the house for me - 5kg of potatoes, eggs, soya milk and sundry 'birthday stuff' and 'bathroom stuff' along with all the super-cheap value stuff which is just as good as the posh versions! 

While waiting for Mr A to arrive, I have mucked out the kitchen larder cupboard, and relieved it of all foodstuffs with a best before date of pre-2010! Hah!

 


C1 went to school with a hair-flip and a smile this morning. The fringe issue is starting to resolve itself (it is growing!) and she has a little credit on her phone, so that she can try out our new arrangement of texting me when she is on her way home.

C2 grinned all the way to school - his carefully hand-written letter to 'Staff' asking to become a play leader, fact sheet and his model of the Hindu god Ganesh all clutched in a box. Apparently they are 'doing' India this term.

As he skipped (oh yes he did!) into school, my thoughts became more positive, and my resolve to 'go with the flow' regarding his school became stronger. 

Am ready to see Consultant Mr P tomorrow - am taking all the supplements I have been taking, and the sparse food diary. Hoping for some tips on how I can regain a little more energy, and find out whether I am really on track, or what the hell is going on. 

We'll see....................

Newsflash: Surely with this selection I might be able to sort out a way to get my Weetabix mushy?

Please.....